we call him squishy puppy booger

baby making isn't hard. 

Last Monday a storm system went through and triggered my water breaking. We waited until morning to go to the hospital, and halfway through labor I asked for an epidural. it was a hard decision to make; I felt like a wuss, nobody would check to see how dilated I was to reduce infection because my water broke so long ago and I had tested possible for SGB, which could be passed to the child in delivery and give him a lung infection. I didn't want to get an epidural without knowing how dilated I was, because I wanted to avoid taking pitocin and the potential for slowed labor. all my plans were laid to waste, but I had a baby who scored a 9 on the apgar and pissed on the nurse who took him off of my breast.

scheduling is our main concern this morning; I was up from 1-7 this morning dealing with the farting wonder. the weight's coming off, I'm ravenous, breastfeeding has been thankfully easy, and Ben likes yogurt - an attempt to ease the fussiness caused by digestion. 

and finally, after ten months of feeling like I lost my mind, paranoid and lacking in affection and libido, I feel like myself. a much more volatile version of myself, but it's me again, horny and laughing and not picking at my husband. never felt so good in my life. I guilt trip badly over just sitting at the house, watching my son fidget in his bassinet, but overall it's been real good. 

all those horror stories, nasty things said to me, catty bitches, have been usurped. back to finding what will make me happy.