I have a week before my father comes down, but I just find myself reading all day, instead of cooking and cleaning. Ben has luckily been going through a sleeping spell, so I get enough time to myself.

I cleaned my cat's ears. I cleaned my dog's ears. I feel abusive towards my dogs because the fencing is not complete, and with a blue tic hound, it is inevitable that they try to run off and go sniff other yards, chase cats, and generally be nuisances. they have tie-outs until we can finish closing in the yard. they're sleeping off the bones and chicken left-overs, happy to be in this pathetic air-conditioning.

my husband sees disturbing tendencies in me that he compares to his mother. she is manic-depressive, and has lived her life very fluidly, with no solid foundation for herself or her family. I found out the other day that I cannot take my favorite, most helpful supplement, St. John's Wort. It affects the Pill's effectiveness. I have to order Rhodiola on-line as a potential replacement for what has helped me function after Ben. reading depressing books featuring characters suffering from PPD has not helped. remind me to give that book back.

I am addicted to Chapstick and cigarettes. I would kill for a bicycle, but we need to pay huge electric bills (the city owns the cooperative) and feed the cats, who let a giant black stray tom steal all their food outside. I feed them both in and out, to avoid fights between my queen cat and the polydactyl kitten that has taken over the house. she enjoys chewing on magazines, sleeping on my head, and licking Ben to death.

I really wanted to go to Missouri and see friends and family before fall and winter, but that looks less and less likely.